About 30,000 years ago Homo Sapiens began to develop complex ways of relating to each other and conceptualising those relationships. This was a cognitive, linguistic revolution – the development of thought as we think of it today.
Thought was as way of defining ‘self’ vs. ‘other’:
- Where did we fit within that group
- How did we fit with that group
- Were we in control, or was someone else in control?
- Were we able to attract a mate?
- How did we differ or how were we similar to the group or other groups?
- Could we provide for our family or tribe?
Our thinking hasn’t changed that much from the way in which our ancestors thought 30,000 years ago:
- Do I belong?
- Am I the same or different?
- If I behave in ‘x’ or ‘y’ way, will I look different or be shamed and rejected from the group?
- Am I in control or am I being controlled – and how do I feel about that?
These core themes of safety, belonging, adequacy and control remain at the centre of most of our thinking – especially our more anxious thinking patterns.
When we experience something repeatedly, we create a belief system. It no longer needs to me consciously ‘thought’ about, but it is ‘known’. Beliefs are the organising system of our thoughts.
There is too much information for our brain to hold, so this process of creating beliefs or assumptions, allows us to function in our very complex world. This enables us to build our understanding of the world, our place in it and therefore how to behave in it.
Our belief systems are often formed in the earliest years of our lives, at a time when we weren’t very resourceful and not very mature. Most of our beliefs are modelled on our parents, teachers, caregivers, and peers. If they had limiting models themselves, we inherit these.
When the organising belief structures that we develop do not serve us, we experience unhelpful thoughts, self-sabotaging behaviours, emotional pain, and sometimes physical expressions of this internal ‘disorder’.
Examples of limiting Belief Structures:
Achiever: I must achieve to be valuable/accepted | Perfectionist: I must get it right to be valuable/ accepted |
Helper: My value comes through my service to others | Anxiety type: I must know and control the world to feel safe |
These belief structures come down to 2 x core themes:
- Enough-ness: adequacy to fit and be accepted and successful within the group.
- Safety: susceptibility to danger or threat to survival.
‘If you prefer to suffer, go on believing your stressful thoughts. But if you would rather be happy, question them’.
Byron Katie
Most of us, are currently so very busy ‘doing’ we are losing ourselves.
Living on ‘autopilot’, the constant thoughts and actions that have become habitual in this world of ours is impacting our sanity, our health, and our lives in an increasingly negative way.
We have forgotten we are ‘human beings.’
Mind – Body Connection
‘Thoughts affect our feelings which elicit our emotions, which directly influences our behaviour, perceptions, impressions and assumptions about our world.’
By believing our thoughts and allowing them to define us, we limit ourselves, as they repress our physical, mental, and emotional capacity.
Your mind is an amazing tool to create your life as you would like it to be. Yet some of us give it authority over us when we listen to it and believe all its thoughts as if they are true and subsequently limit ourselves and our experience.
A single thought, whether resourceful or unresourceful, becomes a powerhouse when you believe it.
Psychologists have determined that we think around 55,000 thoughts a day, with between 70 – 90% of these running on a loop in our subconscious, like an automatic machine we don’t know how to turn off. Our subconscious mind controls 95% of our lives.
‘Thoughts are mainly controlled by our subconscious, which is largely formed by the age of 7, and you cannot change the subconscious mind just by thinking about it. That’s why the power of positive thinking will not work for most people. The subconscious mind is like a tape player. Until you change the tape, it will not change.’
Bruce Lipton
What are you thinking? The mind is full of thoughts like ‘No.. don’t do that’, ‘too late’, ‘too early’, ‘too fat’, ‘too thin’, ‘too fast’, ‘too slow’, ’shouldn’t have said that’, etc
The thoughts you believe will be your experience.
‘If you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.’
Henry Ford
Awareness of our thoughts can set us free. We can all access this freedom by recognising the power of our thoughts. Recognising that by becoming aware of our thoughts, we can relieve the burden these can create in our minds.
Our mind is not a real thing, even though it seems like it. It is simply a mechanical activity or process and just like a computer programme, it’s repetitive.
Our minds will never be quiet, all that matters is that you don’t listen to what it’s saying, as if it were true.
As we become aware of our thoughts, we can recognise we are not our mind. We are one with our mind and body. We can learn to let go of the unresourceful states, to allow the resourceful states space.
You don’t have to eliminate your mind or go to war with your mind. Awareness is your way out of the turmoil of your mind.
Activities to help create space in our minds and raise our awareness:
- Journaling
- Mindfulness or Meditation practice
- Creative Activities
- Breathing techniques
- Physical activity
- Grounding
- The STOP Process
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